Relentless Goodbye Grief and Love in the Shadow of Dementia

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Grief and Love in the Shadow of Dementia
Relentless Goodbye

Ginnie Horst Burkholder shares from the heart about caring for a spouse who is slowly slipping away to Lewy body dementia (LBD). Burkholder’s memoir reveals how she handles the constant challenges through humor, love, commitment, and faith. At the same time, she does not gloss over the loss, pain, and loneliness on this emotional roller coaster ride that invaded her marriage and family following her husband’s diagnosis.

The book is about the gritty and glorious substances of life—how illness and health, faith and doubt, grief and acceptance all flow together in the river of change. It leads each of us to a greater awareness of our own life experiences.

Study questions are included. They are not only a tool for understanding dementia or the role of caregivers but can bring greater self-awareness to every person’s life experience.

LBD is not a rare disease. It affects an estimated 1.3 million individuals and their families in the United States. It affected the author Ginnie Horst Burkholder's family before the age of 50. Learn more from the Lewy Body Dementia Association at Read more of Ginnie's writing and other Essays on LBD Caregiving by clicking here.

A great companion resource to Relentless Goodbye is the book Loving Someone Who Has Dementia: How to Find Hope while Coping with Stress and Grief by Pauline Boss, PhD. Click here for more information.

Table of contents



Year 10

The way it is
Is this Nelson?
Chronic sorrow
Humpty Dumpty kingdom
How we love
Good grief
Hurt and the holidays

Year 11

Change is the one constant
Living and managing life with LBD
On the long road to acceptance
Word salad
Respite and the re-entry blues
Banish the Judge
Visiting the memories
Living with the dissonance dragon
Tug of war
Giving thanks
A caregiver's Christmas list

Year 12

My new year
Struggle and hope
A longing and a gift
The communication conundrum
Lost power
Before and after
What can he do today?

Year 13

I have survived
Sometimes it matters
Bridging the gap
What can I do?
Another go at freedom
It is time
A caregiver's prayer
Three times a lady
No bed in long-term care

Year 14

Longing to be known
Long-term care but still a caregiver
Finding Nelson
How many times can you say goodbye?
The hardest thing
Maybe this is mercy
How are you doing?
Taking care of me

Year 15

Happy you, sad me
Promises, promises
Give feelings a voice
A cleaner grief
No words for his grief
Going forward


About the author


Format: Paperback book
Product code: MM9616
Dimensions: 5.4" x 8.3"
Length: 272 pages
MennoMedia / Herald Press
ISBN: 978-0-8361-9616-0
Written by Ginnie Horst Burkholder